Caught By The Window
by love-r-of-Jam
Summary: When Rory is left on her own when Logan is in London, she starts to rethinks her decisions.
1. Endgame

**Caught by The Window **

**Disclaimer: I neither own Pilate nor Gilmore Girls. I am not that lucky.**

**Summary: What is Rory thinking about while Logan is in London?**

**Author's Note: I need some happiness and lit ness since this summer is filled with unforgivable depressiveness. Partings depressed me people!**

**End Game**

Rory Gimore could not sleep. She certainly shouldn't have any trouble sleeping, she had a nice comfy Queen sized bed that was probably just as expensive as few months salary for some people. She wasn't sick nor was she in physical pain. She had family who loved her, and a boyfriend who was in love with her. She had nice shoes and she should have no worries. But she did.

She worried about how sullen her mother had become after the last speed bump in eternal bliss between Luke and Lorelai. She worried about how her friendship with Lane would change, now that she was a married woman. OF course she knew that it was stupid, but still she worried.

She worried that she may never see her boyfriend again, after her little tete a la tete with Mitchum. She didn't know what disgusted her more, that he felt the right to do his intervention, or that she almost agreed with him.

And worse of all, she worried that she had hurt Jess more than he ever hurt her. She could still feel the scorch marks on her heart that he had left, but that didn't compare to what she had caused.

He had done what everyone told him to do. He got a real job, an apartment, friends, and everything was there for him, and with two visits by herself, she felt she had ruined that.

She wanted to fix it, but the only thing that would fix it, now, was her to tell him feelings she wasn't sure she had. Or maybe she was just afraid to say them out loud, because that would mean it was true.

She would always have feelings for Jess, but she had Logan. He was amazing, just as smart and talented as Jess was. The difference was he knew who he was, and where he was going. There wasn't so much emotional baggage. Or maybe it was just different.

As much as Jess 's sudden departure from my life three years ago had hurt, jess had never cheated, had never actively lied to the level that Logan had. Jess never felt he had the wright to do it too, luckily Jess wasn't born with the major ego that every male Huntzberger were born with.

Rory had to smile at the image of the Jess she had seen when she had gone to the poetry reading. His hair no longer gelled to the extreme, and his whole stance was different from the one she had grown to love.

Jess knew who he was, and worst of all, he had done it without her.

She still remembers what that kiss felt like. It was simple and sweet and everything she had wanted back. Tried to get back with Dean and denied that she wanted when she was with Logan.

Logan made sense to her. He was in the same area as her, even if he didn't like to admit it, he still felt the pull that she felt, when a good story came around. Journalism was in his blood, and she wanted that too. But what her brain wanted and her heart was two different things.

She wanted to talk about books with jess again. Their eternal struggle between Rand and Hemmingway still excited her. She wanted to pull him against the side of Lukes, near the alley and kiss him senseless and then skip home, knowing that she was the one that made Jess crazy.

Not crazy because she had hurt him or disappointed him or even perplexed him, she wanted the crazy that only lust and longing brought. Rory wondered if they could even have a relationship? It always seemed that they would hit a plateau and then things would fall apart.

A friend of hers once said that she had this theory, that everyone had a certain point in a relationship where things started to get hard or change. For Rory it was never a month, or a particular date. It was always because of fate, destiny, kismet, whatever you want to call it. She could never get to that point when it was a question if things woulod go smoothly.

Rory was lulled into a sense of security. She had it with Dean and then Jess came back to Stars Hallow and kissed her. She had it with Jess and then things all fell apart in a split second. It happened with Dean and then with any guy who showed interest. At times she felt like she was cursed. That no Gilmore Girl could truly be happy.

Logan was different. She hated it him first. He was smug and unpredictable and unsafe in a way she had never seen before. But just as different as it was, it had the same symptoms as most of her relationships. She still waited for him to call and he felt like he had done anything wrong, and who was she to tell him any differently.

So it seems that Rory had to make a decision. She was tired and so it really came to the point when she asked herself; was she ready to face the truth or not?

It was two days later when Rory finally made her decision. She had asked Lane first, and after Rory having to tell her friend three times all the twists and turns that had hit her and jess in the last three years, Lane gave her the look that she had perfected over the years.

'To stay with someone who will possibly cheat on you andis not actually there, or someone who keeps on coming back for you, who can't forget about you? Gee I wonder Ror.'

And then she went and asked her mother, what she thought. She figured that her mom would tell her to kick Logan to the curb and ignore Jess completely.

But Lorelai Gilmore is anything but predictable. At first she didn't say anything and she almost looked sad, and then she smiled. 'follow your heart babe. Even for a second do you think you will regret not going after Jess, then I think you have an answer.'

Rory had sat on the couch and pretended to watch Princess Bride with her mom while thinking about Logan. Was she happy with Logan? Then a simple reminded or Jess made her break out in an ear to ear smile, and she knew her answer.

She suddenly got up and looked around. It was late but that didn't seem to matter to her at the moment. Her mom smiled. 'it's ok kid, I'll be fine. Go get your man.'

Rory ran to get her purse and her mom handed her a road map of the surrounding states. 'Call me.' Her mom yelled as Rory ran out of the house.

**Lying here tonight, **

**lying here tonight it's all you think of,**

**Parading through these lights and**

**Parading through these lights it's all you think of.**

**For chance has laid its cold hand upon your shoulder,**

**It's now your right, to watch falling sands, you're getting older.**

**Suddenly surprised, suddenly surprised by these mires,**

**It's a funny thing this life, you're catching up with time, do you tire?**

**You were caught by the window…**

Endgame by Pilate


	2. The Travel Song

**Caught by The Window **

**Disclaimer: I neither own Pilate nor Gilmore Girls. I am not that lucky.**

**Summary: What is Rory thinking about while Logan is in London?**

**Author's Note: Just a warning, this is a Lit story. Not that I don't like them together, I just need some fairy tale ness. However, Logan will not be the villain. He will be some emotional support to Rory. Something I feel he has never really done before. Please give this a chance. **

**The Travel Song**

Rory sighed as she finally left the state Line and thought about what she would say. She figured she would at least warn Logan about their future. With the time difference she knew he would be up. It was seven in the morning, and by each mile she drove closer to Jess, she felt she needed to explain to him why.

Logan didn't deserve to be cheated on. He had honestly thought that they were broken up, Rory knew this and she accepted it. She didn't want to hurt him. But there was just something in her that wasn't as happy as she should be. He had introduced her to the world her mother worked very hard to keep her away from, and by her knowing it; she saw what her mother hated.

But she didn't yearn to see him quite like she imagined. She didn't want to do whatever she could to get on a plane and hide away with Logan. He didn't get her past, and she didn't get his future. It was simple.

She didn't even think about the long distance or how expensive her cell phone bill would be. She simply dialed the number he had made her remember. 'Ace?' the voice over the phone asked and she felt her heart breaking.

'Logan we need to talk.' Logan sighed and he heard her tone. He knew what was coming. 'Yeah about that Rory, I think that we should break up.' He interjected and this surprised Rory. 'Oh ok.' She said and all the while, she felt like she may have made a mistake. 'I mean come on, your in New Haven still in school and I am stuck in London. I have no time, and you are just as busy.' Rory sighed. 'Maybe your right Logan.'

Rory pulled off to the side of the road. 'I'm sorry Logan.' She whispers over the phone and she could hear the sound of ice hitting the side of a glass. It was almost eight in the morning and he was drinking. 'It was bound to happen Ace.' Logan says and Rory can hear the bitterness in his voice. 'I loved you.' Rory replies and he chuckles. 'I know, I did too.'

They are both silent together. The crackling sound of distance and reception as the soundtrack of this particular heartbreak. 'You deserve to be with that guy who is willing to change Ace.' Logan whispered and Rory could hear how slurred his voice became.

'No Logan, I want to be with someone who doesn't need to change. I need to be with someone who can be themselves completely and still love me.' She said and he winced audibly on the phone.

'I will keep in touch Ace. You, well you are unforgettable.' Logan replied and she smiled. 'Your pretty unforgettable yourself MAC' She closed her flip phone and sighed and looked at the empty highway.

She thought back to what her mother had said. Would she regret breaking up with Logan for Jess? Who she didn't even know if he still had feelings for her, and she immediately knew her answer. Even for once glance at his face, was worth it.

But the logical rational side told her that she just couldn't surprise him. What if he had a girlfriend, or some girl in his bed? That certainly wouldn't be something she would want to walk in on, what if he wasn't there, or if he didn't even want to see her ever again?'

But she turned the ignition once more and continued on her journey. She called Jess's cell phone. Of course it was off. 'Hi uh Jess, it's Rory. I um.' she paused. 'I am coming to Philadelphia, and I really want to see you. So call me when you get this message.'

Rory didn't know if she should continue on, but she already was getting the feel of the road and she kept on. She had two hours left of her journey, and she thanked whoever made her mother so weird when it came to birthday presents. One of her presents included a navigational system for her small car. 'Babe, if you need to go to Timbuktu, you will now know the fastest way to get there.'

And now she continued on driving. Her cell phone rang and she almost stopped the car on the highway. Not exactly a great thing. 'Hello?' she said attentively. 'Rory?' the male baritone voice said over the phone and she moved across the highway to stop.

'Jess?' She asked and he chuckled. 'Imagine my surprise that Rory Gilmore called me at 2 in the morning.' Jess said and she laughed. 'I really need to talk to you Jess.' Rory said and he was silent for a minute. 'Ok, then come on over. I am in the bookstore.'

The rest of the drive was filled with tense moments between the feuding foes. Her heart and brain went over every nook and cranny that was Jess and Rory's relationship. From beginning to end. It was all out there for the two of them to debate. Now, if you really think about it, if you hear about someone's heart and brain actually fighting, sure you would think, wows that person is certifiable, but choose to believe it for a second.

Rory sat there, the body, the vessel and she had a goal. To get to Truncheon Books. Her heart was preparing her for the beating it would probably receive. She had gone to Jess, who she knew had feelings for her, and she had make it seem like this was it for them. They would finally get that middle they had been searching for, and then she breaks down and admits that she doesn't feel that way (probably the first mean lie she told him) and that she loved Logan.

Jess was amazing and understanding, and even if Rory had just dashed his hopes, he still was the one with the higher understanding. Her heart knew this and accepted that she really loved him. Not because it made sense or it was convenient. It was the real, wish for your whole life without knowing it, kind of love.

Her brain however was checking the balance between now and then. Did she feel different now, than the last time she took a leap like this, which happens to involve one jess Mariano. Did he change so much that all the good that the past held, was now void and null. Did he still feel the same way about Thai food and certain Cameron Crowe movies? Did there past even matter?

Rory had always been intelligent, and always weighed things to the point where it annoyed people. And now as she drove, she weighed the likeliness that her whole mission was futile.

Instead she made it to the bookstore in great time, and even had time to make sure se looked ok. Jess wasn't the type to judge a person solely on looks, but she wanted to look her best as her hopes were either dashed or renewed with gusto. Renewed hopefully with some physical rewards as well.

Jess opened the door for her, like he was just waiting for her to appear. He noticed that she looked a little tired but other than that, she looked, like the Rory he knew. Only not so private school girl, more worldly.

The room was dark and quiet, and it felt like nobody had discovered it before. It almost felt wild, and there was jess standing right before Rory, and she felt like she had transported back, to being a naïve seventeen year old girl, and this was her first chance at getting something new and exciting.

While Jess thought of nothing but how beautiful she looked, and how scared she was at the same time. He couldn't help but notice that even if she was here to tell him that she wanted him for his body solely, at this moment, with just the two of them, he didn't really care.

'I'm sorry Jess.' Rory stated almost out of character. Jess just shrugged and that's when he felt her lips on hers.

**The road seen beneath the van's headlights,**

**It's cold so cold, cold enough to feel your sigh,  **

**My face up against the window now, don't you know it's cold outside,**

**Pick up your life as I pass by, can't you see I'm cold inside.  **

**We were poor but we had something,  **

**What wasn't poor was poisoned by your fear,  **

**You wanted more, I gave you nothing,**

**I may be blind.**

**Each town, each town it seems the same my dear,**

**It's loud tonight; your heart is ringing in my ear.  **

**Walk out the door across the street, don't you know it's cold outside,  **

**Pick up the phone my signal's weak, can't you see I'm cold inside.  **

**I think you know,  **

**We were poor but we had something,**

**What wasn't torn was poisoned by your fear,**

**You wanted more, I gave you nothing,  **

**I may be blind for I never saw your tears.**

**I think you know,  **

**We were poor but we had something,  **

**What wasn't torn was poisoned by your fear,  **

**You wanted more, I gave you nothing, and I may be blind for I never saw your tears**

**,  As days pass by the gap it now appears, When I come home please say that you'll be there.**

**The Travel Song by Pilate**


	3. Into Your Hideout

**Caught by The Window **

**Disclaimer: I neither own Pilate nor Gilmore Girls. I am not that lucky.**

**Summary: What is Rory thinking about while Logan is in London?**

**Author's Note: Just a warning, this is a Lit story. Not that I don't like them together, I just need some fairy tale ness. However, Logan will not be the villain. He will be some emotional support to Rory. Something I feel he has never really done before. Please give this a chance. Author's Note : Sorry about the delays, cottage time means no internet connection. **

**Mercy**

They both stood immobile. Rory had briefly traced her lips with her fingertips. Wondering if it had actually happened, or if it was just a figment of her imagination. While Jess had smirked. A smirk that he had perfected during their brief romance years ago.

'Wow.' Rory spoke first and she wished that she was closer to something she could hold onto. Here she was. She had done what she had aimed to do. She was standing in front of Jess, and suddenly that need to make things right, seemed to be a little daring for her tastes.

'What did Logan do now?' Jess asked almost snidely but of course Rory knew that this was coming. Jess may have changed, but he would always be defensive against something that had hurt him before. At one time, Rory swore to herself that she would never hurt him.

'Nothing. I just broke up with him.' Rory says and then regrets it. Now he would think that this was all because of a break up.

'What did he do now?' Jess said and all the while even the mention of Logan was breaking his spray painted black heart. 'Nothing, I just realized that you were right.'

Jess looked at her, and waited for her to explain herself. 'Somehow, I fooled myself into thinking that Logan was the best thing to ever happen to me, but the thought of not making this right, I couldn't live with that.'

Jess is quiet and he just stares at her. 'I find this a little convenient. You break up with him and come running after me.'

Rory hangs her head and her heart beats wildly and her palms begin to sweat. She was almost twenty-two years old, she was experienced, and yet here she was, acting like a sixteen year old.

'I couldn't sleep. I would stay awake and wonder why I was miserable. I had a boyfriend who loved me, but I kinda figured out that I don't love him. I don't think I will ever love him. I've been in a tailspin ever since you left.' She paused and he looked at her.

'I have apologized Rory, I'm not goii…' Rory stepped closer and smiled. 'I know, I am not rehashing it, just explaining. Look you saved me. I was so close to self destruction, and you come in, with your tarnished suit of armour and I never thanked you properly.' Rory leans in and her lips brush Jess's mouth briefly and smiles at him.

'Why are you doing this to me?' Jess says while he chuckles and for a minute, Rory was worried. 'I don't think that this, us, will ever work?' jess said and Rory just stared at him. 'Are you sure about that?' Rory asked boldly and then moved so she could look at the filled bookshelves. She ran her fingers slowly over the spines of the books, and she smiled back at him. Of course jess was very close to losing control. But he didn't think he would survive one more close but no cigar with Rory.

She smiled as she saw a copy of an old favorite and looked at him. 'May I?' she asked him and he smiled. 'Wow, this looks pretty worn to be in a store like this.' She said and smiled at him. She opened it and looked troubled and closed it.

'Your selling it?' Rory asked, ignoring the fact that her heart may be hurting. It was one of the last things she had ever given him, before things had gone so wrong.

'No of course not, I would never sell that.' Jess said and he stepped forward and took it from me. 'I lent it to Leo, and I guess he put it back here.'

There's silence between them. It was the kind that could only happen between the two of them. It was disturbing and awkward, but it was familiar to both of them. There whole relationships was based on them.

'So you came here to what?' Jess asked finally, after struggling with the silence for a while. 'I came here to see if my instincts about us were right. We never really got our chance, and I never want to regret that.' Jess just watched Rory and he had to smile.

'Your so different from the Rory I used to know.' Jess says and smiles. Rory tries to figure out if that is a good thing or possibly a bad thing. 'but maybe since we are both so different, it will benefit us?' Jess said and he walked over to her and kissed her.

'You look tired.' Jess commented and he led Rory upstairs and he opened the door to his apartment. Leo was asleep somewhere. 'A little bit.' Rory managed to say while wondering what would happen if she was alone with Jess in a bedroom.

He opened the door and he smiled. 'I think that maybe this is one of those other times Rory. I don't think I can handle one more rash moments. Alright?' Too bad that Jess wasn't there when Rory had made the decision to come before her break up with Logan.

'But.' She began but as she looked at Jess, she realized it was futile. Jess thought that she was not taking things seriously, so she decided that maybe the best thing to do was wait for him to realize it.

TBC

I've made it my dear face it,  I still kiss the darkness.

What I've wasted,  I still taste it,  I'm sickened and hardened I'm going to tear I'm gonna tear walls down

I'm gonna tear  I'm gonna tear walls down

And I'll storm into your hideout

And I walked with you I talked with you,  I still can't help thinking Your drugs bleeding,  So sweet yet fleeting,  My memories are sinking.

I'm gonna tear I'm gonna tear walls down  I'm gonna tear I'm gonna tear walls down

I'll storm into your hideout

And it's cold there now,  And everything outside the truth,  Does nothing more to cut it loose, I've left the path,  The road just disappears.

Gray shadows and white meadows,  A bitter snow is falling. My legs fail me,  The ground hails me,  Distant lights are calling.

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise, Surprise, Surprise...

Into your hideout Into your hideout now Into your hideout  Tearing my heart out now...  Surprise, Surprise, Surprise, Surprise, Surprise... etc.

And it's there... And it's there... And I'll storm into your hideout.

Into Your Hideout by Pilate.. Pilot Speed. Since they changed there name.


End file.
